Let’s face it. Sex in the movies may be all smooth moves, moaning and groaning but out here in the real world… issa scam. So many awkward moments can happen and these are just some of them.
1. The bra fumble
We have all been there. Things are getting hot and heavy and then… BOOM, your lingerie turns into a zoo trap. Where is up? Where is down? Nobody knows fam! I mean you personally put your bra on this morning. Your man has tried and failed and now, you have tried and failed.
2. The Queef
A queef is what sex horror stories are made of. Imagine yourself doing the reverse cow girl. Things are going great…when all of a sudden there is a loud farting noise. Your man looks at you. You look at him, but deep down you know it was you. You queefed sis. You. Queefed.
3. Elbow in the face.
Why is it that every time you are trying to take each other’s clothes off , the inevitable happens? Someone always gets an elbow to the face. Is this the fate of every couple? Are we constantly going to be knocking out teeth and eyes with our body parts? I. Have. Questions.
4. You will make a weird noise
Sex is where you totally lose your inhibitions and let go. Sometimes though, we let go a bit much and start making some decidedly unsexy noises. Fam, why do you sound like a whale and a parrot had a baby? Stop scaring your partners and just moan like normal people. Ama namna gani my fren?
5. Things will get hairy
You and your man are going at it. Your thinking of pulling that move your gilfriends asked you to test, then it’s hits you. You. forgot. to wax. Do you put it off for another day or do you throw your cares to the wind and get on with it?
Awkward sex will make you cringe at first but if you relax and go with it, you can concentrate on chasing down and having the elusive big o. Keep your eyes on the prize queen. Eyes on the prize