When you are at odds with your partner, it can feel like your entire world is crumbling. Because of the important role our significant others play in our daily lives, detaching from them with the intention to move on can be downright heart-wrenching. But as we know, doing the thing that’s right for you can be the hardest decision to make. So how do you discern if it’s time to let go of your relationship because the arguments are too much, and when to hold on and bear the storm?
It’s important to understand that even in the best of relationships, there are going to be hard times. Issues around the distribution of power, expressions of love or the lack of it, money, sex, social priorities, dealing with friends and family, as well as job and career issues impact just about all couples. With there being so many different variations of conflict between couples, each situation is unique, and ultimately the decision to stay or go is up to you. But the experts have a few tips to lead you down the road of decision making.
Some relationship problems are simply too toxic to fix. That includes multiple incidents of cheating and emotional or verbal abuse. Your relationship may not be worth fighting for if it has become chronically toxic or adversarial, if there have been multiple affairs, if your partner constantly criticizes you in public, if they consistently refuse to support you when you are your most vulnerable, and when they repeatedly shame you in public or privately.
A lot of people emphasize the rosy and comfortable parts of being in a relationship, but a partner really gets to shine in moments when you are at your weakest, and they are strong. For many couples, it’s not what you fight about, it’s how you resolve them. If your partner never takes responsibility for their wrong-doing and uses unhealthy tactics to shame you in a dispute, it may be time to call it quits. If your partner is not interested in staying together, if they continually are deceitful, not remorseful, and not willing to work on the relationship, it may not be worth fighting for. But if they are interested in achieving forgiveness and working through the rough patch, it’s worth it.
