We spend our leisure time scrolling and thumbing through phone apps aimlessly, but that idle time can become insidious real quick. Instead of a fun past time, we find ourselves looking at the same people, constantly checking up on their life and maybe even envying them for their online lit life. Obsessing over people we follow on the ‘gram is dangerous. If you are messaging them daily, looking for changes in their profile on a daily basis or multiple times a day, then you are probably stalking.
Of course, the line between friendly observation and compulsion can be very thin. Sometimes, we just want to know a little bit more about the people we interact with. “If a person needs to recall their personal interests (doing homework in preparation for another encounter), that’s OK,” says relationship expert Greg Jenkins.
To discern if you’ve gone too far, take this advice to heart from Dr. Kaplow, “Try to think about it as if there were no technology.” This tip is helpful if you know more about this person than they would tell you in real life, you’ve probably gone too deep into their internet blueprint. This goes for colleagues, friends, and prospective partners too. “Checking their profile simply reminds you that they are not 100% committed to you after the first date,” Dr. Klapow said of dating while scrolling. While you may be OK with that at an intellectual level, emotionally you may feel envy, anxiety, and jealousy.
Matchmaker and CEO of exclusive matchmaking, Susan Trombetti said that they relate to this statement because social media stalking a new boo can cause you to sabotage the relationship because you lose confidence in what you have or are starting to build together. If you can, take some time between meeting someone in real life and friending them on social media.
