Kenyans are a peculiar people.
Give us anything and we will revamp and remix it until it is barely recognizable. A huge thing with us is food and we don’t have new weird and interesting ways to eat it, then are we even Kenyans. Samosas have been part of our history ever since the arrival of our brothers from India, who came over to build the railway. Sisi ni nani? , we quickly picked up the meaty delicious samosa and came up with some weird samosas on our own. Sigh.
1. Githeri Samosa
We hereby name this the most disappointing samosa ever made. It reminds you of high school and makes real githeri look bad. Aki kenyans why are you like this? Is the butcher on holiday?
2. Ndengu Samosa
We see where you were going with this samosa guys. It tastes distinctly of another Kenyan dish- Chapati and Ndengu but we it’s still a no from us. Respect ndengu guys, put in a stew like God intended.
3. Samosa Waru
We get that this is a vegan thing but imagine, just imagine buying a samosa you were dead ass sure it was filled tomatoes onions and MEAT – like a samosa should be. You find hot potatoes instead. Mehn. Throw the whole samosa away because we don’t want it.
4. Beans samosa
Yani, we sat down and decided beans and samosas were an actual thing? Please no. Just no. Can we not? We know it’s supposed to remind us of chapati madondo, but we much prefer it the normal way. Served with avocado and “kachumbari firi firi” on the side. Not this abomination inside a triangle. Puh!
Kenyans, country men, brothers and sisters. Let us all please stop trying to make these samosas a thing and eat them as our forefathers before us did, with beef or chicken on the inside. That is all. As you were.