Relationship killings and gender-based violence have been rampant in Kenya.
It is puzzling why an individual would want to kill someone they love so dearly.
Here are some ideas of what could be causing this:
When someone has a low opinion about themselves they will tend to seek justification from the world to make them feel good about themselves.
In a relationship, they will seek justification from their partner and feel that no one else can accept, understand or love them. Their partner determines their worth and without them then they think they’re worthless.
This could spring from constant rejection or not getting any attention in the past. So when someone finally loves them or shows them attention, it’s like they become glued.
In the event of a disagreement or a looming break up, fear kicks in and the partner resorts to killing the partner because they feel without them they are worthless or no one else can give them attention and love and most kill themselves also since they feel their value is determined by their partner and there’s no point of living in their absence.
A rocky past
This comes from the feeling of owning the partner. It arises from some sort of ‘investment’ they have made in their partner.
The ‘investment’ could be in the form of dates, time, money spent in wooing the partner, sacrifices made, dowry paid during marriage.
The greater the ‘investment’ the greater the entitlement the partner feels.
The entitlement drives the partner to hurt their loved one when they have disagreements or the relationship gets rocky.
When the partner threatens to leave the relationship or doesn’t follow their ‘rules’ the sense of entitlement causes the partner to hurt them.