We know, broadly speaking, how to take care of our hearts as we age with the right kind of diet and exercise. We understand that sunblock and moisturizer will prevent skin damage. We even have some idea of how to maintain the sharpness of mind over time, by way of mental stimulation. Nothing is left to chance. Except, I would argue, the ever-neglected testicles.
Sometimes I imagine growing old with someone and become physically ill at the thought of their sagging balls.
— Katie Qué (@imyourkatieque) May 30, 2017
The sagging and stretching of the scrotum loom like something inevitable for any person saddled with one. Most boys are barely dressing themselves before they espy the long nutsack of an unashamedly nude old man in a locker room the gonads themselves suspended and swinging at knee-height, you would almost swear.
In some way, this is less nonchalance than it is a warning: Your junk will melt like a fleshy candle. Yet while women fret over all the risk factors for sagging boobs, the owners of dangling genitalia rarely pause to consider how they might resist a slow and certain droopage.
According to the scientific literature, it all comes down to elasticity an essential part of healthy nut function. The scrotum hangs away from the body in the first place because the human body temperature of 98.6ºF is a bit too warm for sperm production (that’s why a laptop can impact your fertility), and thermoregulation of the testicular complex depends on the action of the cremaster muscle, which retracts the boys in cold situations and relaxes them in hot weather.
(Yes, sadly, the cost of a swole “summer D” may be a slackened coin purse. The same muscle helpfully tightens things up during intercourse, which is why your balls aren’t flapping wildly with every thrust.