Anyone who has ever been in a relationship with a human being has picked a fight with someone they love. It’s one thing to run into conflict with your partner because of the things that naturally occur in daily interaction, but it’s a whole other thing to intentionally try to start an argument with your partner without reason.
But the tricky part of it is, there usually is a reason. Even picking meaningless fights, can have implications of a larger relationship issue.
The fight ends up more as a way to get your partner’s attention than it is actually about the incident that caused the squabble.
Picking a fight’ typically starts with finding fault with and going after something a person did or said and escalating it into a fight, It’s a learned behavior used as a gateway to address a past hurt or resentment, without coming out vulnerable to talk about the thing that really bothers you.
Most picked fights are not about the actual subject of the fight the subject is merely a facade that allows you to act out on the deeper ‘meta’ message that you feel frustrated, unappreciated, not important, slighted, or ignored without having to admit to feeling this way.
