It all seemed so simple growing up — “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.” But nowhere in the popular rhyme is career mentioned and this is where we find many millennial women making a detour before pursuing family goals.
At 42 years of age, former K24 Talk Central hostess Kalekye Mumo is still looking for love.
According to the ex Kiss 100 FM presenter, she is yet to meet a man who is seriously looking to settle down and start a family with her.
Switching things up on her last Talk Central show, Kalekye told actor Martin Githinji that during her Radio hosting days, she often met men younger than her.
“Plus being in radio a lot of the guys who hit on me were way younger than me and of course had different priorities than me… #NowYouKnow #TalkCentral @K24Tv,” she wrote on Instagram adding that she is still praying for the right man.
“Whaaat @daddiemarto just asked me if I was single by choice… For all those who’ve been asking… No I didn’t intentionally choose not to be married… Aand It’s a prayer point…” she added.
For now, Kalekye is expected to launch her own show which she says will tackle issues close to her heart. The show which will be coming straight to her fans on social media will be done the “Kalekye style.”
Should women feel guilty for putting their careers before kids? That’s the question on debate globally as more and more women in this day and age seek to pursue their careers first.
While many feminist books empower women telling them they can have it all, the family and the rising career, the reality of it is easier said than done.
A Pew Research Center report revealed that 58 percent of working millennial mothers feel families made it harder for them to get ahead in their careers while only 19 percent of millennial fathers felt the same way, which explains babe’s position.
It should also be noted only 13 percent of millennial men said they expected to interrupt their careers for children versus 37% of women. Most men are not the ones who take on the grunt of the parental workload — or carry a growing fetus for nine months.
Mothers are 27 percent more likely to quit their jobs to care for their children, while only 10 percent of men do the same.
Among my friends and family, I see more women speaking on the desire to have established careers and a successful financial foundation laid before considering children.
And then there’s that thing called marriage most women still aspire to before kids.
In the movie Eat, Pray, Love Viola Davis’ character says “…having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face, you kind of want to be fully committed.” I don’t have any tattoos or kids yet for that reason.
Many women brought up in single mother households are usually urged to pursue their careers to the possible end before looking for love.
Many however, as in Kalekye’s case, will tell you forty years later that you are leading yourself to a life of loneliness.
All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you’re working to compete in the world, and what you’re doing is competing with men. Men don’t like competitors. Men want a partner.
By the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can’t get off that track, because now you’ve got to make the money to pay your bills.
It’s hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It’s not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling.
Many career women have cats and dogs in their 40’s. It’s lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don’t do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs.
You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who’s going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there’s no other income there to help you. These are things you don’t understand when you’re in your 20s because you don’t think you’ll ever get old and have health problems.
Ideally, if you can, find someone in your 20s. That’s when you’re still very cute. That’s when you’re still amiable to working out problems with someone.
It’s harder in your 50s, when you’ve lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you’re so used to being alone.
Bottom line: Find someone in your 20s!