When RnB singer Mary J Blige sang that bad boys ain’t no good good boys ain’t no fun, many women listened.
I’m well aware that many guys need some help with this as they are often being told that they are “too nice” (like it’s a bad thing). But there is a difference between being friendly/approachable and being annoyingly nice.
If you consistently sacrifice your own needs and wants for those of others due to concerns about conflict or disapproval, you’re ‘too nice’.
And the truth is that being too nice to people without any reason can signal a man who is more concerned with making people around him feel comfortable and “happy”, and not being himself or concerned with his own thoughts and intents.
Especially with women, since they are highly observant of men and have good judgement on a man’s character and confidence level. Women seem to have a 6th sense when it comes to screening for nice guys…
People pleasing can mean all kinds of things, from never saying no to doing more than your fair share of the housework without complaining.
If you’re justifying being a people pleaser by telling yourself that you’re just spoiling your partner, you’ll soon come to realize that you’re actually setting up expectations that will lead to resentments and anger.
In the beginning of the relationship the girl would be too happy that she got such nice partner and the boy will do things continuously to impress his girl and make her feel special every moment .
As time passes on all the friends of girls would be so jealous that she got such nice boyfriend, and girl is happy from outside too, but from inside somewhere she is feeling that her guy is nice but they are not having such fun which she wants.
Because, actually the nice one would never try to hurt other one and his universe will revolve around another one. And the nice one will always do the the right things which might bring down the expectations of other one.
And as the other one meets someone else who don’t care about her, and just wants to have fun the other one will get attracted their and the nice one will not even try hard to stop happening this.
A Nairobi woman just learnt this the hard way after getting married to a ‘good’ guy.
She says that her husband is a good provider, and he performs his bedroom duties however the problem is that he is too nice and she is tempted to cheat.
I love my husband and but I want to cheat on him.
He is very nice to me and a good husband but being good is not good enough. He gives me money and does everything including s#x he is good but I just love bad boys.
I love crazy men that can hit me, slap me you know. Just maltreat me a little and make me beg but my husband is too nice.
I know if I tell him this he will think I am crazy but I am not.
She goes on to add that she likes when her man goes all rough and kinky.
I went to his office the other day and saw him scream at his PA he almost slapped her and I was turned on.
That is the part of him I want to see and he has never ever showed me that part. I love angry men, I love wicked men because they are the sweetest .
When two people spend a lot of time together, they’re going to disagree. That’s just the facts of life. If you consciously never disagree with your partner, you’re basically setting up a relationship in which your partner is always right.
Not only will it create a burden of a situation that’s hard for your partner to live up to, but it will fill you with regret, unfulfilled desires, and resentments. Disagreements don’t have to be scary, terrible messes with some good communication skills and some patience. They’re an essential part of all healthy relationships.