How to make it work if your boyfriend is ‘huge’

More often than not, I have heard girls sorry ladies cry that their boyfriends or even sexual partners aren’t ‘endowed’.

Most of us, lifestyle and sex writers have covered this issue in many of our publications. We have also even gone a step further to even coin the term ‘size does not matter’.

But it does…

But what can you do if your sex partner is ‘physically gifted?’

I wonder….

How to do it

Tension in the vagina and groin is usually integral to the process of orgasm—Kinsey’s cyclical contractions and all that. Since you’ve done the usual lube-and-patience routine, you may need to ration your dick-delivered orgasms until your body adjusts to your boyfriend’s endowment.

If you’re able to orgasm from digital or oral sex, try doing that before you get penetrated both to loosen up and to achieve gratification.

Do you do Kegel exercises? Even though your goal is to relax those muscles, Kegeling can provide a physical awareness of your lower insides and help you get a better idea of exactly which parts are in pain.

Pay special attention to the relaxation step, since that’s the direction you want to go in.

Once you’ve got the hang of both clenching and release, incorporate breathing. You’re about to see me go full hippie, so stay with me. Breathe past your chest, through your belly, and all the way into your pelvic floor.

Relax everything—including your jaw and toes and fingers if you can, but definitely every part of your groin—and then contract, starting with the muscles around the opening of your vagina, as you exhale.

  
 
 
 
 
 
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 EVERYONE MUST DO THIS EXERCISE. This is life changing. Pelvic floor and lower abs. Reasons to work the pelvic floor: better sex, better control over bladder and 💩 , fitter body (particularly abs), more youthful body, more stamina...for women: easier childbirth and recovery...the list goes on. In class, I explain the sensation of exercising the pelvic floor as having to pee and holding it. Learning to release the muscles slowly is vital. So contract, then slowly release. You will see that my lower belly puffs up. This will happen with you too...think about pulling it in with the muscles, as this happens. You will get extra out of the workout! 3 sets of 10 and you can bend the knees if you want. I know it’s a ton of info...but SO IMPORTANT #wegotthis2018
 
A post shared by  Hilaria Thomas Baldwin (@hilariabaldwin) on Aug 9, 2018 at 8:29am PDT
 

On every inhale, imagine your hips becoming more round and your vulva developing a wide, welcoming smile. If it feels silly, you’re probably doing it right. Practice this for a few minutes every day. You want to be able to reach that state of internal relaxation at will during penetrative sex.

I want to underline that the very thing that may allow you to accept your boyfriend’s penis with less pain will probably also mean deferring orgasm, or achieving it another way, but you have to take care of yourself first.

As for the aftermath, get a (small!) dildo made of glass, metal, or really anything that can go in the fridge and then inside you. Actually icing your vagina is probably too much, but a cool internal compress can help with swelling and pain. Over-the-counter pain relief is also an option. Soaking in a warm bath seems to help, too.

One last tip you didn’t really ask for: To accommodate superlative length, you can wrap your hand around the base of your boyfriend’s penis and squeeze or stroke while he’s penetrating you, so he doesn’t go too deep. Best wishes on your big adventure.