Kenyan men make all kinds of husbands. From the wapole ones, the noisy ones to those who live in a world of their own! Here are 10 types of husbands:
- The nomadic husband
His family resides in a rented apartment in Ongata Rongai, yet his vests, boxers and shirts are in other women’s houses in Juja, Umoja and Kinangop.
He leaves home every Thursday and resurfaces on Monday evening, in fresh clothes, tired as a lazy mosquito. This sort gets drunk and sips from the mug of adultery the whole weekend, whether or not they’ve been salaried.
2. Pumbafu one
This is the one that won’t let his mother visit since his wife can’t stand the ‘monster-in-law.’ Pumbafu husbands fear their wives so much than their own mothers, who gave them nyonyo, can’t drop by with malenge, termites and avocado from shags. In the words of Atwoli, SHENZI!
3. The selfish one
This is the type who will check on the wife 60 times in day, asking stupid questions.
You will hear the wife trembling saying; “Ghai! Baba Davy is almost calling… I need to rush home.” They will not allow their wives to enjoy a weekend of gossip, laughter, pombe and adultery.
4. The calm soul
Help me understand this. Why would a man have a wife, pay rent, sort out house bills, punish his kids when they fart loudly and when he gets home from the pub at two in the morning, his missus refuses to open the door and the man-child sleeps in the cold?
Any Nairobi husband enduring the cold treatment? If so, drop us a mail.
5. Game iko down
We have Nairobi husbands whose wives sleep with anything in trousers and everyone in the neighbourhood knows it except him. Well, in most cases, it is because game yake iko down.
6. Miss Mboch chewers
We’ve Nairobi husbands whose mere stare or gaze at a mboch makes the baby girl go jigi jigi. These are sharp shooters, when they aim at your house girl, they don’t miss.
While other husbands are buying parcels of land in Ruai, these ones are busy playing hide and seek with house girls in the neighbourhood.