Hii ni kukaliwa! How far should ultimatums in a relationship go?

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Photo: Courtesy

If you desire to have a lasting relationship, you have put in some work. There is no perfect relationship but that’s no reason for not working on your relationship. Your relationship is a result of the work you put into it. If you want a relationship you can be proud of, then you have to work towards it.

However, putting work in place does not necessarily mean forcing your partner to beat deadlines.  You would avoid so many unnecessary conflicts in your relationship when you learn to choose your battles wisely. So many times in our relationship, we tend to have a fight with our partner over irrelevant things that don’t matter.

Any time you want to argue with your partner over a particular subject, always pause and ask yourself if what you are angry about is really worth the negative energy.

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So last week, I was having lunch with some youngins from work and one of them was telling us how his girlfriend keeps on giving him timelines, like on the things he should accomplish by a certain age. I want to assume she went like, “Uko 24,tunafaa kua na gari by 26.” This had me so shocked of what Kenyan men are going through in these streets.

First of all, tu ni nani?? Tu, tu, is this arithmetic? A young man was for real distraught that he thinks he won’t be able to meet these goals. I couldn’t let it slide. I told him and his friends that no one should project their life’s goals on to them. Does she need a car? This isn’t Saudi Arabia, Women are allowed to purchase and drive cars here. She can go buy herself one.

Image result for black couple arguing
Photo: Courtesy

If you wouldn’t let a man come out of anywhere and start dictating to you how to spend your money, why would you take it from a Girl? Because of what? Sex? Ladies, please!! Most Kenyan are getting played like a fiddle, just to make someone else’s ends meet. Girls know their egos are fragile and some use it to their advantage.

My simple advice to Kenyan men would be not to give in to any pressure, especially with their ladies. It is a relationship and both partners should work together. No partner should give ultimatums unless they are both working for a common goal. What do you think?

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