You know how men like to brag about their bedroom experiences right? We think that it’s high time their bragging rights were snatched off from them. It’s easy to tell who’s good in bed, and who’s not. I believe that you’ve had experiences with these types of men in the bedroom.
1. Mr. Know nothing, do nothing
This first type of lover is regular old Joe. From time to time, you’ll meet someone who knows what to do, how to do it and when to do it in the bedroom. Then, on the other hand, you will meet a Stevo, Kevo, Brayo or whoever who just wings it (like you do your eyebrows) and just does absolutely nothing. He’s probably the guy that tries to swallow your face while kissing you, or sticks his anaconda in the wrong place, or…. You get the picture. Yeah?
2. Mr. It’s all about me
Now this guy, sigh I’m even getting depressed talking about this one. This one right here is known as the selfish lover. The dude who cums and rolls off? Yeah, that guy. He’s the guy that cares almost entirely about his pleasure, and if you just so happen to reach that point of ecstasy, then great for you. But make no mistake; sex with you isn’t about you. It’s all about him. And best believe this is the guy with the tiniest of D. Oh I meant d.
3. Mr Greatest of all Thespians (giving G.O.A.T a new meaning)
This guy, This type of nigga is the most common type of lover. The one who uploads sexual pictures on Instagram and snapchat. Never watch porn with this nigga cause best believe, he will have you reenact every scene and every position. OK ,OK I’m being petty but still. This guy, as the title suggests is a lot more concerned with performance than he is with pleasure. He is the definition of an empty barrel making all that noise for no damn reason. He wants you to know that he can fuck the shit out of you but gives little to no consideration to whether or not you’re being pleased. He does his “best” thinking he’s the king of pleasure when in reality he ain’t doing jack. SMH
4. King Midas
King Midas in Greek mythology was that Nigga. The one that turned whatever he touched into gold. Yeah? does this ring a bell or nah? Anyway, If you ever come across this guy, there are only two options: you either run for your life because you understand the danger that he is or you stick around and get a taste. This is the nigga that doesn’t want your sexual pleasure but needs it. And so in selflessly pleasing you, he’s selfishly pleasing himself, since his pleasure depends almost entirely on yours. He is the best kind of lover because he’s attentive. If he can’t sense what you like/don’t like, he cares enough to ask. He’s the guy that will turn your insides into gold boo. Damn! Where is he though?
I believe you have meet each and every one of the above. Question is: who did you get to keep?