There are so many demands placed on you both by society and your family. It is a rite of passage and almost everyone has to jump through some honestly ridiculous hoops. If you are the first born, this one is for you. If you are the last born, kwenda huuuuko lol!
1. You have instant kids
Bruh! Your parents have the kids BUT you get to co-parent all your siblings. Are you even a Kenyan first born if you have not changed a diaper, given a sex talk or picked a sibling from school? If people call you an old soul it’s probably because you’ve been raising all these kids that don’t belong to you.
2. You get punished with your bad sibling
Raise your hands if your sibling broke a rule and your parents gave you both the beating of your life? I mean, you weren’t even there sis? How is this your problem? You were just minding the business of your life when all of a sudden you mom or dad is asking you to pick your kiboko of choice. Mehn.
3. Parents blame you for siblings issues
Why is an African parent favourite sentence “Can you talk to your brother/ sister? Tell them I am very disappointed?” Why can’t they just directly talk to your sibling? Playing Koffi Anan between your parents and siblings in honestly exhausting and hilarious.
4. You are a sibling ATM
If we had a shilling for every time a sibling has asked a first born for money, we can pay china’s debt you guys! As soon as the firstborn gets a job, their MPESA will be working overtime. Can a first born just enjoy the fruits of their sweat? Can they though?
Firstborns, despite everything you go through we love you all.
You are a great help to your siblings and parents. Never change!