NI KUBAYA! A Kenyan Mother’s Tough Love knows no boundaries

single mums- Zumi

All Africans all have one thing in common with each other; Their mother’s way of disciplining them. Honestly from the dramatic pauses they all have when beating their children, to the tools of discipline themselves, down to how exactly they use these tools, they all have the same tendencies.

It’s like they all went to the same school to learn how to discipline you. Talk to any Kenyan child and they will tell you stories about different households in different timelines but the parents are the same every time. You will not make a mistake in an Kenyan  home and not go through any of these hilarious styles of discipline.

1.Psychological warfare

There is nothing quite as unerving as knowing you have made a mistake and your mother not reacting to it. This is especially true if you are used to your mother reacting in anger or yelling at you, then all of a sudden…nothing. Fam uta sweat yako yote. What is she thinking? Did she notice my mistake? Am I getting beaten or not? Little do you know she has marked you for the beating of your life at a later date.

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2.The Stink Eye

The stink eye is so powerful you can feel it from 20 metres away. It doesn’t matter where you are sis. You could be inside your own house and you break YOUR own dishes and you will wait for your mother to come in and give you the stink eye. That stink eye can stop you from acting a fool even as an adult. Weh!

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3.Using your dad

Let’s be honest, there is nothing quite as panic inducing as your mother telling you “Wait, till your father gets home!” Weh! You will pray to all the gods, sacrifice a white chicken and call upon your ancestors but your father will still come home. Both of them will them tag team on you and give you the beating of the century. Woi!

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4.Group punishment

Someone please answer this question. Your sibling makes a mistake outside the house. He or She is busted by your mother. He or She is being punished. Why are you also being punished? Kila mtu apambane na hali ya maisha yake! If Kenyan moms can punish us together, they should also reward us together. Tunaomba serikali.

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We love our Kenyan moms, they are a hilarious lot and make our lives that much more colourful. Tell us in the comments, the mind boggling punishments that your Kenyan mom gave you as a kid. Kenyan children unite in the inbox!!

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