Judging by the reactions of women around the world may be remembered as the year when many women learned for the first time that yes, we men can totally see your buttholes when we geuza you kukubeng doggy style. It’s basic anatomy we’re directly behind you while your butt’s pointed up in the air. It’s not a case of us being able to make it out if we squint. We literally can’t miss it. With this in mind, like many men, I was mystified at first as to how this could be a surprise to anyone.
But on consideration, it makes sense, before now, I’d never once wondered what parts of my anatomy partners might have seen without my knowledge. Maybe everyone I’ve ever had missionary with has seen up my nostrils. Maybe anyone who’s gone down on me has found themselves unavoidably eye-to-eye with my taint. Neither of these possibilities makes me feel good about myself.
When we have sex, we like to think that above all else, we’re fucking sexy. That our partners are seeing something that turns them on, that our bodies are a big part of what’s driving them crazy. To discover that a body part you’ve never even factored into this equation is actually front and center may be discomfiting, to say the least. For some, it may even shatter the illusion of their own sexiness, or present their sexuality in a way they hadn’t intended, to the degree that they don’t want to display themselves this way ever again.
But for those people, here’s the important thing to remember. Yes, we can see your butthole and we like it. I know. But I don’t mean this in a raised-by-internet-porn, “Have you considered anal bleaching?” context. This is about how men feel about you during sex in general: When we want you, we want all of you. Men have a remarkable ability to decide that when something is great, everything about it is great and there can be no gray areas.
Yeah, sure, we may sometimes fixate on your breasts or your lips or your feet or whatever else makes us hot during sex. But if we’ve decided the whole package is something we’re into, we will unequivocally embrace everything in it butthole included.