Relationships go through a lot and sometimes very hard times. You can find the perfect relationship but perfect doesn’t mean it won’t have problems from here to the moon. A lot of what we go through that we think is toxic and hurtful in our relationships are just part of what it takes when you commit to being with that special one.
“Many people think that once you’re in a relationship, you must talk about all problems and be able to resolve them so as to move forward. As much as it’s important to talk about issues in the relationship, note that not all issues will be resolved and that’s okay. When two individuals come together, expect some problems because at the end of the day you are two different people who want different things. There are things about my husband that I absolutely hate and wish he could change and we always argue about them, but that’s who he is. That’s the person I chose to be with and as much as it sucks, you have to take the good with the bad. You can’t let a few issues, as much as they may drive you crazy, come between a good relationship. It’s good to accept that not everything in your relationship can be fixed and the sooner you accept it, the better it will be for you, trust me,” says Marilyn who has been married for three years.
Another happily married woman, Asha, adds, “Young naive me used to believe that one you’re in a relationship with someone you are not allowed to flirt with or look at anyone else. Of course when I was in a relationship back in the day I would only have eyes for the person I am dating. How that all changed! As you grow you realize a lot of things and a lot changes. I look at men and think they are attractive and a little playful flirting doesn’t hurt, just as long as it doesn’t go beyond that. You still have to respect your relationship. When I thought of my husband doing the same I got so mad, but in all honesty it is something inevitable that we as humans experience. Don’t feel guilty when you look at a man and think of all the things you can do to him!”
“I am engaged about to get married and honestly something that worries me is my ‘me’ time. I know once I get married I will have less time to myself and honestly I think spending time apart in a relationship is very healthy. We’ve seen those people who lose themselves when they get into relationships and I don’t want that to be me. It’s important to have a separate life aside from your relationship and still maintain your independence even when you are madly in love with someone,” says Sandra.
These seem like experiences we’ve all had and it’s good to know your relationship can thrive despite of them.