There’s no good response to a public callout of how much heat you’re packing. Post-breakup trash-talking has only one motive, but can take many forms: There’s the artful sick burn, where the Queen of big bum Vera Sidika called out the one ‘Bad Man Shivo’ Otile Brown has a small d… Yikes. Such jokes promote a toxic, extremely narrow standard for masculinity, not least of which because it defines that masculinity as existing only in relation to how sexually pleasing a man’s penis to women.
Vicious. Like calling any woman fat or ugly (or both!), the little-d… snipe is the numero uno dude burn because its precise coordinates hit a man directly where we measure his potency, his penis. It is the verbal equivalent of a kick in the balls because it avers the man is not just less of a man, but a shitty lover. And little blessed men, much like Trump’s tiny hands, are so fun to make fun of it’s practically a sport.
Penis-size shaming is no different, and the fear of having a penis that’s not big enough is so pervasive that studies have found that even well-endowed men think they’re too small. It’s worth noting, though, that it’s feminist groups who’ve shouted the loudest for men and women to relax on the penis shaming.
Men can’t do much to control their penis size, but the implication that a big penis is the only way to please a woman contradicts what we know, which is that penis size is not a fair indicator of sexual performance, nor is it part of the “golden trio” required to help most women achieve orgasms.
You could, I suppose, simply admit you didn’t have a big penis. But now you’ve admitted you don’t have a big penis and hey, again, maybe you do, maybe you don’t. Penis size is relative. And this is a damned if you do, damned if you don’t the situation. Trying to prove you do, in fact, have a big penis is a dicey move.
Perhaps it would be best if we as a society could move collectively toward no longer discussing these things, and just as women hope to someday stop being treated as if they’ve committed an egregious crime against humanity by simply having a normal body, men too will one day rejoice when the only person who ever needs to know about their penis size is them and whoever they’re sticking it in.