A bi-sexual female friend of mine describes men as “universally trash,” and says that dating women feel easier almost disconcertingly so. (“We can’t both be the adult in the relationship, can we? How does this work?”) She suspects she’ll keep dating men, even though the experience leaves her “on the brink despair and yearning for something better.” Still, she believes she must be getting something out of it, even though it’s not clear exactly what that is.
Over the past several years, there has been a growing acknowledgment among people young women in particular who date men of their failings, aided by social media platforms like Twitter where users come together to commiserate about their abject romantic and sexual experiences.
The controversial phrase “men are trash” has become a rallying cry for those fed up with harmful, oblivious and just plain shitty male behavior. The #MeToo movement has shed light on male violence and institutionalized abuses of power, and digital media platforms are increasingly willing to discuss the quotidian disappointments of dating men like the orgasm gap and burden of domestic labor. Dating men, it seems, is no picnic.
The answer from straight women is often a frustrating observation that they can’t choose their sexuality, and refusing to date men would mean consigning themselves to celibacy. Other women are unwilling to forego sex entirely, but consign their male partners to f*#$k buddy roles.
