One of the most difficult things for a man to do is to admit to a woman that he loves her.
Indeed, saying the words ‘I love you’ is extremely difficult for any man to do.
Sometimes, this can leave a woman an emotional ball of self-doubt and loathing.
What am I missing out on so that he can’t love me?
Nevertheless, here are some of the ways you can cope with him failing to say those words:
Ask yourself why hearing him say those three little words is so important to you.
Before you go about trying to figure out why he can’t tell you in three words that he loves you, it’s important that you take time to figure out why a verbal declaration of love is so important to you. Will it make you feel more secure in your relationship?
Is it because you believe that words are the most important way to express love? Did you grow up in a family where you rarely heard any of your family members say they love each other and you feel like you’ve missed out?
Being able to cope with something that’s causing you heartache often becomes easier when you listen to yourself and hear what your heart is telling you.
Acknowledge when he is making an effort to tell you he loves you but can’t seem to do it verbally.
Encouragement and recognition of our efforts from our partners can make all the difference in the world when we are struggling with something.
Your partner deserves to be recognized if you notice that he is trying to find his own way to say he’s in love with you.
Rather than sulking or giving him the silent treatment (two very unhealthy relationship habits), let him know that you see how much he loves you even if he has a hard time saying it. The more you support and encourage him in kind and loving ways, the more you open the door for him to take a risk and express himself without the fear of rejection.
He needs to know that you won’t laugh at him or dismiss him or reject him when he finally does say ‘I love you!’
Understand the difference between someone who can’t say ‘I love you’ and someone who won’t say ‘I love you!’
Someone who can’t say ‘I love you’ may have a fear of being rejected when they express their feelings.
Perhaps when they were growing up they didn’t hear that phrase often from their parents and so they have a hard time knowing when and how to express their feelings verbally.
Someone who can’t say ‘I love you’ may one day learn to speak openly about their feelings.
On the other hand, if he is someone who won’t say ‘I love you’, he may be choosing consciously to not say those words. Take the difference between the phrase ‘I can’t swim’ and ‘I won’t swim!’. One sentence suggests the person lacks the skills to swim and the other one suggests that the person is choosing not to swim.
Someone who lacks the ability to say ‘I love you’ may be able to one day learn how to say so openly. But if you’re in a relationship with someone who chooses not to express himself, even if he knows it hurts you, then you don’t need tips on how to cope when he can’t say he loves you; you need to figure out if this is a relationship worth staying in.
Find non-verbal ways to express your commitment and devotion.
How do you tell your partner that you care deeply about him? Is it only with words? Or do you find creative ways to express your love and affection beyond just saying those ‘three little words’?
While you are waiting for him to verbally tell you how he feels, he could be waiting for you to express how you feel in ways that are non-verbal. That might be what he needs from you to take the next step in demonstrating how much you mean to him.
The bottom line is that there are so many different ways to let someone know you love them, why limit yourself to just three words? Open your heart and mind to all the possibilities!
Focus on all the good things in your relationship.
If the fact that he can’t articulate how he feels about you is the only major hurdle in your relationship, are you failing to see all the things that are going well for the two of you?