There aren’t a lot of feelings that are worst than falling in love with someone who doesn’t have the emotional capacity to accept and reciprocate your emotions.
Emotionally unavailable folks can participate in relationships up to a certain point, but tend to tap out of the relationship when the bond gets too deep. When you get into a string of these emotionally unavailable partnerships, it can be deeply taxing on your mind, body and soul.
There is a subconscious part of you that believes if you can just be loving enough and empathic enough, you can get a person even someone who reminds you of a destructive parent or former partnerto become open, loving, and available.
Being a good, loving person is not going to all of a sudden motivate people into being better for you. The desire to heal has to come from within them, otherwise you are fighting against the wind to your own detriment.