OH HELL NO! Worst experiences by Kenyan women in the Bedroom

Bad sex is like sitting through a long, terrible movie, coming to the realization that the preview was the best part, and wondering if there’s some way you can sneak out and leave without anyone noticing.

Some may say that having bad sex is like eating a pizza — even if it’s bad, it’s still okay. I personally disagree.

When was your last really really bad sexual experience? And was it like any of these?

1. They make sure to make it all about them. 

Ladies should come first. But even if they don’t, a man who leaves you hanging is a man who downright sucks in bed. If he finishes, rolls off you, and promptly falls asleep without even attempting to help you reach climax, he’s actually a slime ball. Sister you don’t need that.

2. They treat your vagina like they’ve been paid. 

I would even rather you just don’t do it all together. There is going down on someone. And then, there is acting like a dog with a rubber hamburger. Not so sexy unfortunately.

eat GIF
3. They are terrified at the idea of their face being anywhere around your vagina. 

I personally draw the line at anyone who does not partake in southern cuisine. Boy bye. He expects fellatio but doesn’t want to give it in return. Huh?

4. Foreplay is mostly an inconvenience. 

You thought every guy knew you were supposed to get things started before you go to town. But it seems some still haven’t gotten the memo. Many women (dare I say most?) need at least a little bit of a warm-up before the main show. Guys who forget that don’t often get callbacks.

foreplay-why GIF
5. They are confused about what is supposed to be done with your breasts. 

Hi, they are attached, dude! He is kneading them like dough and touches you like your body is more for his pleasure than your own. It’s this simple; Touch, sure. Lick, why not? But knead? Um. No.

confused  GIF
6. Faster and harder is “better”

It’s more quantity and effort applied than quality. Good sex does not necessarily mean the two of you have to be soring all over by the end of it. It gets painful. And face it: Men who can’t vary their pumps probably aren’t very adept at all the other ~nuances~ of proper fucking.

7. They tell you to “shhhh!”

Eh! This happened to me when I hooked up with a guy I’d been massively into throughout college. Just when I was getting into it, he shushed me, I have never ran so fast.


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