If you’ve been wondering; “Should I get a divorce?” there’s a few things you should know that will help you determine if you can save your unhappy marriage.
From bliss to boredom, from soaring hopes and dreams to wondering why you ever got married. You may be asking yourself, “Why am I so unhappy?
Here is a story on how marriages have become violent:
I got married through a church wedding 3 months ago. Unfortunately, I have found it to be a burden to me. My husband beats me up and abuses me a lot, nimeumia mwili (I have injuries all over). And he likes beating me at night, I told him to allow me to go back to my parents but he refuses and closes the door so I can’t escape.
I was brought up in a rich background, (my family has it all) whereas his family is so poor.
I am also more learned than him. So whenever we have differences he tells me am despising him because they are poor. He says namdharau (disrespecting him) because am more learned than him and my family is rich.
I always ask him to tell me how I despise him but he doesn’t say anything. He never helps me do anything in the house, so I do all house chores alone and even dress him.
I even wake up at 3:00 -3:30 a.m on weekdays so that I can cook fresh heavy breakfast for him and also pack for him lunch. And I also have to give him clothes to wear before I start preparing myself too to leave for my job. I So I have really tried to be a good wife for him so that he doesn’t say that namdharau/disrespect him.
I feel like quitting from this marriage. Is there anyone who did a church wedding and faces these challenges?
What do I do? My husband is a church leader and so many people look up to him especially in church, so nobody actually knows what he is doing to me, nobody knows he can abuse me and beat me.
Its very sad. When we were dating he was such an angel, I never thought he can do that considering he was also a church leader.
Am the last born in my family so I was used to being done for things at my home. When he married me he kept telling me am very lazy.
I told him to give me time to adjust to his lifestyle because we were not brought up the same way. Av tried my best to be hardworkkng but he keeps telling me am lazy, I do things slowly. I cook ugali and he tells me hijaiva/it’s raw. I asked him then to teach me to cook nice ugali but he has never taught me but he eats that ugali anyway.
My parents could send me money to make my hair, buy nice clothes to wear to church and maybe use for my personal things. So i used to show hubby mpesa messages. hubby beats me up because am being given money from my parents. He tells me we despise him that’s why am allowing my parents to send me money. So I had to tell them to stop sending me money.
They stopped but sometimes they still give me money. In the morning when we wake up he befriends me and tells me to forgive him for beating me. Then he does all good things to me and I forgive him.
But am so tired of this marriage. I want to quit and I don’t know if I should just go home to my parents and stay there.I hate being married.
Like today church youths and high school students have a talk and he is the one invited to speak to them. Because they all look up to him.I feel bad because I know he will low to them but in the house he is beating me.
One day his mum visited us, I didn’t know she was visiting. He told me she will.come that day when already the mum was on her way.
So I asked him why he couldnt tell me she is coming earlier even if its in the morning or the previous day. He said ni mama yake/his mother and she should visit any time she wants. When the mum arrived, I treated her well anyway. Hubby lives near his firstborn sister ( a walking distance). So the following day they left to the sister and came very late at night around 12 midnight when i had slept.
I didn’t hear them knocking at the gate, and he didn’t have keys. and hubby had gone with my phone( hua ananinyanganya simu at times/he confiscated my phone at times), so he passed over the fence and woke me up. I opened the gate for them. When the mother left, he beat me up because he said I refused to open the door for them and I was irresponsible because I slept before they got in.
He uses anything he finds near him. He uses also pipes in the house, wires, belt, slaps, anything he gets near is what he uses to beat me with. I cooked ugali and he said hijaiva/it’s raw.
He beat me, my parents sent me money and he beat me, I got periods last month and he wanted me to be pregnant so he beat me and abused me a lot, called me names and told me av refused to get pregnant for him.
I told him its God who gives children but he beat me and said I know what I have done that’s why am not pregnant.
He beat me, my parents sent me money and he beat me, I got periods last month and he wanted me to be pregnant so he beat me and abused me a lot, called me names and told me av refused to get pregnant for him.
I told him its God who gives children but he beat me and said I know what I have done that’s why am not pregnant.
It was raining outside heavily and my umbrella was in his car. He wanted to take matoke for breakfast and they were also in his car boot. So he told me to go and get them. I told him i can’t go outside to be rained on because it’s heavy rains. And I was getting late I can cook rice instead of with uji. He beat me up and said I was being rude and am not submissive.