Do you have a tendency of over-apologizing? Are you the sort of person who blurts “sorry!” when someone collides with you in the street? Even when it’s entirely their fault?
For example, do you apologize for making a perfectly reasonable request at a restaurant? Or seek forgiveness for unpleasant circumstances beyond your control?
If those scenarios sound uncomfortably familiar to you, you’re not alone. Saying sorry too much is a common problem (especially among women).
However, over-apologizing all the time could mean you’re essentially saying sorry for your existence.
Over time this not only undermines your self-worth but also your capacity to manifest an abundant life.
If you find yourself saying sorry too much, read on to learn why you do it and how to develop strategies that can help you stop.
Pause Before Apologizing
Before saying sorry, stop and ask yourself this: “Have I actually done anything wrong here?”.
If the answer is no, do not apologize! The urge can be easier to resist if you ask this follow-up question: “If I didn’t do something wrong here, do I really want people to think I believe that I did?”
Express Compassion Differently
If you worry about sharing difficult emotions, note that there are other ways to show compassion and empathy.
Instead of constantly apologizing in a relationship, say something like “I know that’s tough to hear” or “You can always tell me when you’re upset.”
Know Your Triggers
Do a quick brainstorming session and write down 10 things that make you want to apologize. For example, bumping into a stranger or asking someone to do something for you.
For each item, think of something you could say instead. Spend a week focusing on just one, trying to entirely eliminate “sorry” from that context.
Phrase Questions Carefully
There’s no need to over-apologize when you need clarification, so don’t say sorry when you ask. Instead, experiment with questions like
“Could you please say a bit more about that for me?” or “Can you please help me understand this better, maybe by using an example?”
Turn Apologies Into Gratitude
The next time you feel an apology rising up inside you, think of a way to rephrase it into a statement of gratitude.
For example, “I’m sorry you had to run that errand” can easily become “I’m so grateful you did me this favor!”.
Not only is this more pleasing to the hearer, but it focuses your mind on positivity and abundance. This can help you attract even more positivity.