Because we are no longer pretending to not like or engage in random hookups, here are four great tips for the next time you find yourself randy, without a man, and need a man. Just for the night!
1. Be safe
Well, duh! We want you to broaden your hoe-rizon, not like, die on us! Who are you with? Where are you going? Other than Uber, we don’t get into unknown cars with unknown persons to unknown destinations! Repeat. After. Us. If you must get yourself twiddled with, please pick a spot you are familiar with! Text your bestie, because besties don’t judge but encourage happy times!
2. Wrap it up
Darling, darling, darling, don’t be out there spreading your cooch, to just any unwrapped dick! Condoms are cheap, and in most clubs, absolutely free! You have no excuse to put your life at such risk! Chances are, you will never meet this hook up again, so you are completely vulnerable to venereal diseases and cooties on coochies ain’t cute, and it hurts like a bitch.
3. Be prepared to leave
No matter what you think the situation is, be prepared to leave without being asked to leave. You would rather your random hook up asks you to stay and every self-respecting girl knows not to accept anything but dick from a dick appointment. A one night stand? Honey, don’t even leave your number!
4. Walk of no shame
I say that because there is no shame in getting your oils changed and your insides worked up pretty good. No shame darling! Be that as it may, you need to prepare for it. You need comfortable shoes, a comfortable outfit and maybe some lip balm tops, you’re glowing from all the nasty shit you did, you are good to go!
Ehen? Are we going to get this D or nah? Have fun and be safe, but in case you forget your birth control.