I’ve heard all types of reasons why men don’t want to wear condoms. But, by not using them, your safety is at risk. Using condoms every time you have sex offers the best protection from catching an STD, including HIV.
It is even suggested that you use a condom even if you’re on the Pill (or other prescription method or hormonal contraceptive). If a man says that he is “too large” to fit into a condom, open one up, put your hands together (like you’re clapping), roll the condom over your hands, then spread them apart about 12 inches wide – ask him if he is bigger than that!
Condoms are an essential part of safer sex. They’re not only great at preventing pregnancy (when used correctly, every time), but also protect you against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). In a sense, condoms can save a person’s life. Talking about sex can feel awkward at first, but it’s an important part of your sexual health.
If your partner doesn’t want to wear a condom (or doesn’t want you to wear a condom), you can simply say something like, “We can either use a condom, or not have sex. It’s up to you.”
You can also explain why condoms are important to you, and help them understand where you are coming from. This does NOT mean that you owe your partner an explanation for wanting to use condoms.
They should respect your boundaries no matter what. But having a script for what you want to say can make it easier to tell your partner what you want.
Here are common excuses to not wear a condom:
I’m healthy
Some STIs show no symptoms – such as chlamydia. There are 790,000 new cases of STIs are diagnosed in the UK each year.
I like it natural
Sex with a condom can feel natural – especially with ultra-thin condoms – barely feels like you’re wearing one. Also, for some men using a condom makes erection last longer.
I don’t like them
Some people have had bad experience with condoms in the past – e.g. problems keeping erection.
With a bit of practice, most men can get used to using condoms.
I lose sensitivity
Try ultra-thin condoms – barely feels like you are wearing one.
Alternatively, some people like textured condoms which can boost sensitivity for both partners.
I forgot to use one
Keep condoms by your bed. Carry some with you when you go out or go on holiday, just in case even if you are not planning on having sex.
It affects my performance
Learn to enjoy sex wearing a condom. Try masturbating with a condom on to get used to the feeling, staying hard and orgasm. You will feel more confident next time you have sex.
It ruins the moment
Make putting a condom on part of having sex. You can put the condom on while your partner undresses or your partner can put it on for you as part of foreplay.
They hurt / too tight
Condoms are available in a range of sizes so you will be able to find one that feels just right for you . You might be allergic to condoms – see below…
I’m allergic to condoms
Very few people have a genuine allergy to latex. However, for those that latex-free condoms are available.
I’m sterile
Whether someone is sterile or not, they can still pick up and pass on an STI by having unprotected sex.
We are in a relationship
Even if you have been together a while, you may not be risk-free. You or your partner may be carrying an infection without symptoms from a previous relationship.