Peculiar Kenyans who make a bus ride worth it

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Every time you sit in a Matatu here in Nairobi, you just want to reach your destination in peace while minding your own business. However, it does not always happen the exact way you want it.

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So, there are these types of passengers you are likely to meet. You may not meet all of them at the same time, but you will certainly meet them before the sun goes down. These are passengers with peculiar characters that makes you know that you’re in Nairobi, receive them🤗🤗.

The co-driver

These guys take the front seats near the driver. They are mostly men with big tummies in their late 50s and above. They are usually in a leather jacket and a god-father cap. The first thing these guys do is to ask for a newspaper from the driver. At times these guys may have the newspaper tucked under their armpits. They are also the people responsible for the disappearance of the free newspaper given by the People Daily.

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The slay mamas

These people can make you feel small. They are dressed in the latest outfits and carry a sleek handbag. They have very long nails whose colour may be matching with some of their clothes. One thing; these stylists never have the exact bus fare. They have money in denominations of Sh 500 notes and above. And they never know where exactly their money is. They have to open all the pockets of their bag.

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The air conditioners/meteorologists

These people’s work is to monitor, assess and recommend which windows to open and which to close. Once they enter a matatu, they begin by wafting some air towards their face. They smell the latest colognes and perfumes. Most of these passengers are young women. They are sister category to slay mamas.

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Eavesdroppers

These people are disastrous. Their work is to overhear conversations, try to solve problems and give recommendations. They even eavesdrop into your phone text chats and want to know who, why and what you are talking to. They behave as if they work at DCI’s Karura offices. Others in this category might listen to your phone call and this is how it goes;

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Conversation starters

These people can start a conversation with anything and anyone including your 2-months old kid. They begin by complaining about the sad state o affairs in politics, how the matatu industry is transforming and bla bla bla. Even when you’re tired and minding your own business, as usual, they still wanna talk, Eiisshh

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Foodies

These people’s work is to eat. You even wonder if they do anything else beyond eating and well, traveling. They have in their bags mutura, avocados, simsim. and everything. And when a hawker comes announcing; ‘sausage na smokie na samosa moto’, they still want to buy. They eat and when it’s evening, they make a yelling call to their local grocers. Aki mama njeri usifunge kama hujanishagulia makondofia. (Mama njeri, please don’t close the shop without selecting me some avocadoes). And by the way, who usually fart in the bus? now you have the answer.

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You have probably met them,and some others too..tell us how it was like